[calbhach]

Being Married isn’t the “Best” Thing

Ever thought that you could never live without finding someone to love you for the rest of your life? I know I have. My life feels so lonely without someone to call my own. At times, I begin wondering if I’ll ever find just the right person for me in this lifetime. But really...what is best for us...for EVERYONE...in the end? In this day and age, we really don’t know how much time we have left in this world. We don’t know exactly when the time is going to come that Jesus Christ is going to return to the earth. We don’t know how much time we have left to do the Will of God, and bring people TO Him.

1 Corinthians 7:29-31 - (29) What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; (30) those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; (31) those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.

That said, marriage, innately, is going to split the focus of the man and woman. When they should be solely focused on God, their attention is going to be split between God AND their relationship. Of course, a good, healthy relationship must involve the man and woman spending time with one another, doing things together to improve their relationship. It’s very, very good for them to worship God together, but a relationship is held together not only by a mutual love for God, but ALSO a love for one another. So, this results in divided attention.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35 -  (32) I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs-how he can please the Lord. (33) But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world-how he can please his wife- (34) and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world-how she can please her husband. (35) I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

Marriage is a good thing; it isn’t sinful in the least. But, as good as marriage is, NOT being married and allowing God to be your sole focus in your life is the best of all. However, in a world where sexual content is so prevalent, many people find that it’s necessary to get married to keep their lusts in check...to keep themselves from sinning against God.

1 Corinthians 7:1-2 - (1) Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” (2) But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.

1 Corinthians 7:8-9 - (8) Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. (9) But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

It’s very necessary to keep our lusts and sexual fantasies under control; lust and sexual fantasy are a sin. Looking at women (or men) on TV or in catalogs and magazines or on the internet is a sin.

Matthew 5:28 - But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

What is more rewarding...gratifying ourselves momentarily by satisfying our fleshly lusts, or by doing what is right by God’s standards and living with Him for eternity? Using the time we might have used being worried about marriage, pleasing one another, raising children, or instead becoming a dedicated servant of God, ministering to the unsaved?

If, then, we can’t control our lusts, we must find the one man or woman that is right for us and marry them...stay married to them and never divorce them or fall in love with anyone else. Having a spouse eases loneliness, sexual stress and keeps us focused on what is right and lawful in God’s eyes. But, if we don’t feel any sexual needs such as that, and can remain “pure” (or rather, as pure as any human can be), then we shouldn’t marry, and use the extra time that wouldn’t be taken up by pleasing our spouses and praise the Lord, and speak His Word. Our life should be more dedicated to the Lord than to pleasing the flesh.

1 Corinthians 7:36-38 -  (36) If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. (37) But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin-this man also does the right thing. (38) So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.

“So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.” That’s what it boils down to. Both sides are right, just, and sinless. Just take the time to pray over your current situation and figure out exactly what’s best for you, to keep you out of sin!

What is Love?

The big question is, what IS love, exactly? How can we love someone when we don’t even understand exactly what it IS? Love is quite simple, yet complex all at the same time. Love in and of itself is to give, not take.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 - (4) Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. (5) It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (6) Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. (7) It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

“Love is patient, love is kind.” Love is (for example) listening to a person, allowing them to tell you their troubles without interruption, without letting out sighs of boredom, giving them the chance to let their issues to flow out to you, and giving your own heart back to them by being a loving, understanding individual and letting them know that you care about what they’re saying instead of pushing them to get to the end of the story, or walking away from them when they need your help. This is friendship...being loving brothers and sisters in Christ. Love is lending a shoulder to cry on for people who have lost loved ones, for people who have no one else. Love is giving, giving, giving, when you really think you have nothing to give.

“It does not envy...” Love isn’t wishing that you had something someone else has. Love isn’t wishing that you could be like someone else, or that you have their skills, or their wonderful life. Love is using what you have in your own life to help the people around you and to rejoice in God...to worship Him.

“...it does not boast...” Love isn’t going around, telling everyone how great your life is, or how you have the most expensive car, or how you go to the biggest church, donate the most money to the needy or anything like that. It isn’t loving at all to put someone down by giving them the impression that you’re better than they are in one aspect or another.

“...it is not proud.” You shouldn’t take pride in anything; pride isn’t loving. Similarly to boasting, it puts other people down and seems like an attempt at making yourself better than them (whether it was the intent or not; sometimes, meaning get misconstrued, and feelings get hurt)

“It does not dishonor others...” It’s not loving to talk about someone behind their back, is it?

“...it is not self-seeking...” Love is NOT to TAKE. Taking is self-seeking...this would be like lust, as I’ve mentioned in the section below.

“...it is not easily angered...” Again, loving is being a person who listens...who helps and offers advice. Don’t get mad just because someone doesn’t agree with your own opinions, or doesn’t do things like you think they should. Don’t get mad at them for not being on time, or for making a mistake. Anger isn’t loving...be compassionate towards people.

“...it keeps no record of wrongs.” God doesn’t remember your sins, does He? So why in the world should we “remember” what other people have done wrong and treat them what we see as “accordingly”, due to what they’d previously done? We’d want other people to forget something we did wrong, right?

“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” Who wouldn’t rather know the truth about things? No one likes to be lied to about anything, really. While lies may keep people comfortable in their sins, truth leaves people with a peace they could never have found in other ways.

“It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Love is positivity. Love is supportive. Love is protective, trusting, and encouraging in everything. Love is what makes a person truly happy, in their own thoughts, actions, and in their spiritual state.

Love or Lust?

And is it love, not lust that you feel? Well, it’s really quite easy to figure out the distinction. Lust is self-satisfaction; wanting to TAKE something from a person rather than give something to them. It’s wanting to take in the sight of someone...quite often imagining them as being close to you in some sexual fantasy. And because these thoughts make us go into an imaginary state that allows us to self-satisfy our sexual cravings for a very short period of time, we have to remember that sex is about two things; first of all, of course, there’s the reproductive aspect. Secondly, it’s the uniting of two individuals, making them both into a single flesh. Even if we “only” fantasize about sexual relations with random people, it’s still as sinful as the real thing. You’ve committed adultery against your future (or current) husband or wife.

Of course, in lust, there is fear; the fear of being found out, and being punished for your thoughts or actions. 1 John 4:18 - “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”There’s a certain “thrill” about keeping such a thing hidden from everyone around you, whether the lust is simply looking as women and imagining them in situations with yourself, or whether it’s actually the real thing. But in the end, I’ve found that there’s really no thrill to lust at all. It’s a terrible thing to waste your mind and body on lusting after someone, instead of abstaining from such things and remaining pure for the man or woman that you’re truly meant to be with.

Lust is a terrible, evil thing...it can be lusting over someone that you see in public, lusting over a man or a woman in a catalog or magazine, it can be someone that you see on the internet. Lust can cause you to say, think and do many things outside of God’s Word. It can drive you to premarital sex, to an affair, to pornography, to masturbation, to reading and writing “dirty” stories, to drawing sexual pictures. Lust makes you WANT TO TAKE. Not WANT TO GIVE.

Romans 12:9-10 - (9) Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. (10) Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

Romans 13:8-10 - (8) Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. (9) The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (10) Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

“You shall not commit adultery” is very plainly written right there. And isn’t it true that if you’re thinking lustful thoughts about someone, that you’re committing adultery against your future wife or husband? If you wouldn’t want to lust for someone who isn’t your husband or wife INSIDE a marriage, why would you want to lust for someone who isn’t your husband or wife BEFORE marriage?

Matthew 5:28 - But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

And last but not least, we’re all commanded to love our enemies.

Luke 6:27 - But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you...

Matthew 5:43-44 - (43) You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ (44) But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...

Why? Because if we don’t love our enemies, what kind of example are we to them? How would we ever even begin to use God’s Word to bring people to Him? How does hate make a person want to come to God? It doesn’t.

Luke 6:35 - But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.

To hate someone, to reject them and make it understood that they aren’t wanted is only a sign to them that Christianity is full of hypocrisy and distrust. I know from experience that the more someone does and says things that hurt my feelings or bash me in any form or fashion that I don’t want to have anything to do with them. So why wouldn’t the reverse be the same way? As Christians, we need to show people that God IS love. That’s what Christianity is all about. Love, compassion and the willingness to serve others.

Who should and shouldn’t we marry?:

Everyone has preconceptions about their perfect man or woman in their life, and while these attributes may make marriage easier to cope with if the spouse has them, it may or may not necessarily be healthy for a marriage either. While most people want their future spouse to be “hot” “sexy” and “fun” (don’t get me wrong, if the right guy or girl comes along who has those attributes, that’s fine too! haha), that isn’t the most important thing. They might be nice to look at or listen to, but they might not have the best morals. Appearance isn’t everything. It’s what their spiritual state is that matters more than anything. The Christian man and woman must also remember never to marry an unbeliever; while it CAN work out that Christians and non-Christians marry and have happy lives, it can be very detrimental to the faith of the Christian.

2 Corinthians 6:14-16 - (14) Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? (15) What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? (16) What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.”

Deuteronomy 7:3-4 - (3) Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, (4) for they will turn your children away from following me to serve other gods, and the LORD’s anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you.

1 Corinthians 15:33 - Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

Your future spouse needs to be a born-again Christian. In a relationship with a lost person, there isn’t the same sort of encouragement or understanding that there would be with a saved person. There would be so few commonalities between the two that even if a relationship like that works out, there would always be a sort of spiritual tenseness that never eases. However, in a marriage to a lost person, one should do everything they can to show God’s Glory to them. By doing this, they may bring their spouse to Christ. All the same, it’s best to be equally yoked.

1 Corinthians 7:12-16 - (12) To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. (13) And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. (14) For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. (15) But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. (16) How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

1 Peter 3:1-5 - (1) Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, (2) when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. (3) Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. (4) Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. (5) For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands...

Philippians 2:5 - In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

Remember also that unbelievers will not be with you in Heaven. You won’t be able to ever see your lifelong husband or wife again, unless they become saved at some point within the marriage. All of us want to see our families again after we’ve all passed on and are living with the Lord, don’t we?

John 3:3-8 - (3) Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.” (4) “How can someone be born when they are old?” Nicodemus asked. “Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother’s womb to be born!” (5) Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. (6) Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. (7) You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’ (8) The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”

1 Corinthians 6:9 -  Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men...

Marriage is always good in the eyes of God, though. We must remember it. If a man or a woman decides to marry, they receive favor from the Lord; He is happy with them for choosing the morally correct, sinless path. Marriage is a beautiful thing and is completely encouraged!

Proverbs 18:22 - He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.

1 Corinthians 7:28 - But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned...

Men and women should both strive to be the most like Jesus Christ that they can possibly summon; here are the qualities which we should all have in our lives (Thanks to Splinter_02 from www.christianmanga.com for writing this list down! I’ve added a few quotes of my own as well):

      Men...
...follow the Word of God:  
Matthew 7:24 - Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.

...is Christlike:
1 Thessalonians 2:14 - For you, brothers and sisters, became imitators of God’s churches in Judea, which are in Christ Jesus: You suffered from your own people the same things those churches suffered from the Jews
James 4:7 - Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

...girds himself with strength:
Isaiah 52:1 - Awake, awake, Zion, clothe yourself with strength! Put on your garments of splendor, Jerusalem, the holy city. The uncircumcised and defiled will not enter you again.

...boldly proclaims the Word of God:
Mark 6:18 - For John had been saying to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.”
1 Kings 17:1 - Now Elijah the Tishbite, from Tishbe in Gilead, said to Ahab, “As the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, whom I serve, there will be neither dew nor rain in the next few years except at my word.”
Acts 2:14 - Then Peter stood up with the Eleven, raised his voice and addressed the crowd: “Fellow Jews and all of you who live in Jerusalem, let me explain this to you; listen carefully to what I say.
Acts 7:2 - To this he replied: “Brothers and fathers, listen to me! The God of glory appeared to our father Abraham while he was still in Mesopotamia, before he lived in Harran.

...fights the good fight using the weapons of God:
Ephesians 6:12 - For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
1 Timothy 6:12 - Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

...gives his life to serve:
Mark 10:45 - For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Matthew 20:28 - ...just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
John 13:12-17 - (12) When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. (13) “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. (14) Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. (15) I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. (16) Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. (17) Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.”

...is genuinely humble:
Philippians 2:3 - Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,

...is merciful:
Matthew 5:7 -  Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

...loves his enemies:
Matthew 5:44 - But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
Luke 6:27 - But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you...
Luke 6:35 - But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.

...flees sexual immorality:
1 Corinthians 6:18 - Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.
2 Timothy 2:22 -  Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
Mark 14:38 - Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak.
Luke 22:40 - And when he was at the place, he said unto them, Pray that ye enter not into temptation.
Luke 22:46 - And said unto them, Why sleep ye? rise and pray, lest ye enter into temptation.
Matthew 6:13 - And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one.

...is faithful to his wife and loves her:
Colossians 3:19 - Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
Ephesians 4:2-3 - Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love. Be led together by the Holy Spirit to be at peace with one another.
Ephesians 4:26 - If you are angry, don't sin by nursing your grudge. Don't let the sun go down with you still angry -get over it quickly.
Ephesians 5:25-30 - (25) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (26) to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, (27) and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. (28) In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (29) After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church- (30) for we are members of his body.
1 Peter 3:7 - Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 - (3) The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. (4) The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. (5) Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Proverbs 5:15-19 - (15) Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. (16) Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? (17) Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. (18) May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. (19) A loving doe, a graceful deer- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.


...does not retaliate against evil with evil:
Matthew 5:39 - But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.

...obeys proper authority:
Colossians 3:22 - Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.

...manages his time well:
Colossians 4:5 - Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.

...speaks words of wisdom:
Colossians 4:6 - Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

...prays:
1 Timothy 2:8 - Therefore I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or disputing.
Matthew 26:41 - Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.
Luke 22:46 - And said unto them, Why sleep ye? rise and pray, lest ye enter into temptation.

...is not idle:
2 Thessalonians 3:6 - In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers and sisters, to keep away from every believer who is idle and disruptive and does not live according to the teaching you received from us.

...is fair, even when life is not:
Proverbs 3:27 - Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.

...is financially responsible:
Proverbs 3:9 - Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops;
Proverbs 6:8 - ...yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest.
Proverbs 11:15 - Whoever puts up security for a stranger will surely suffer, but whoever refuses to shake hands in pledge is safe.
Proverbs 10:4-5 - (4) Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth. (5) He who gathers crops in summer is a prudent son, but he who sleeps during harvest is a disgraceful son.
Proverbs 21:5 - The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.
Proverbs 21:20 - The wise store up choice food and olive oil, but fools gulp theirs down.
Luke 14:28-31 - (28) “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? (29) For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, (30) saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’ (31) “Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won’t he first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand?

...lays up knowledge and listens to wise counsel:
Proverbs 10:14 -The wise store up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool invites ruin.
Proverbs 12:15 - The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.
Proverbs 15:22 - Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.
Proverbs 18:13 - To answer before listening-that is folly and shame.
Proverbs 18:15 - The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, for the ears of the wise seek it out.

...discerns between truth and fiction:
Proverbs 14:15 - The simple believe anything, but the prudent give thought to their steps.
1 John 4:1 - Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.
Proverbs 16:21 -  The wise in heart are called discerning, and gracious words promote instruction.

He is disciplined and holds firmly to sound doctrine:
Titus 1:9 - He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.
Titus 2:1 - You, however, must teach what is appropriate to sound doctrine.


   Women...

...are helpers:
Genesis 2:18 - The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

...are wise:
Proverbs 31:26 - She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
Titus 2:3-5 - (3) Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. (4) Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, (5) to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

...are prudent:
Proverbs 19:14 - Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.

...have a gentle spirit:
1 Peter 3:4 - Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

...are holy:
1 Peter 3:5 - For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands...

...wear clothing which reflects good character:
1 Timothy 2:9 - I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes...

...love their family:
Titus 2:4 - Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children...

...are loyal to God and to their families:
Ruth 1:16 - But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.
Proverbs 31:27 - She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

...are self-controlled, pure, kind, and submissive to authority:
Titus 2:3 - Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.

...keep their lips from slander:
Titus 2:3 - Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.

...praise God:
Judges 5
Luke 1:46-55 - (46) And Mary said: “My soul glorifies the Lord (47) and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, (48) for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, (49) for the Mighty One has done great things for me-holy is his name.(50) His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation. (51) He has performed mighty deeds with his arm; he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts. (52) He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble. (53) He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty. (54) He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful (55) to Abraham and his descendants forever, just as he promised our ancestors.”

...fear the Lord:
Proverbs 31:30 - Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

...love Jesus and sit at his feet:
Luke 7:44 - Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair.
Luke 10:39 - She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.

...are generous:
Proverbs 31:20 - She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

...pray:
1 Samuel 2:1-10 (A very lengthy passage; please look it up)

...are strong:
Proverbs 31:25 - She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
Judges 4:21 - But Jael, Heber’s wife, picked up a tent peg and a hammer and went quietly to him while he lay fast asleep, exhausted. She drove the peg through his temple into the ground, and he died.
Judges 9:53 - ...a woman dropped an upper millstone on his head and cracked his skull.

...are worth more than all the earthly treasures:
Proverbs 31:10 - A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.

...The beauty of their hearts never fades:
1 Peter 3:4 - Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

Racial Boundaries:

When people are in a relationship of any kind with any person, whether it’s marriage, friendship, adoption or anything else, “race” should never, ever be taken into consideration. We’re all people; we all walk, talk, look and act in relatively the same manner. We’re all “human”. Race means absolutely nothing, because we all came from the same two people. Our ancestors back at the beginning of time were always the same two people, no matter who we are or what the color of our skin is. Love for one another should extend far past what our eyes can see from a person. God doesn’t see “race”, so why should we?

John 3:16 - For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
Acts 10:34 - Then Peter began to speak: “I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism...”
1 Samuel 16:7 - But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
Galatians 3:28 - There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Colossians 3:10-11 - (10) and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. (11) Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.
1 Corinthians 12:12-13 - (12) Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. (13) For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body-whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free-and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.
Romans 10:12 - For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him.
Acts 17:26 - From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands.
Genesis 5:1 - This is the written account of Adam’s family line. When God created mankind, he made them in the likeness of God.
Genesis 10:5 - (From these the maritime peoples spread out into their territories by their clans within their nations, each with its own language.)
Romans 2:11 - For God does not show favoritism.
Ephesians 6:9 - And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.

It is commanded by God that we do NOT judge people by appearances. We are to lovingly take anyone in as our own and to make them feel as family. How is it Christ-like to judge men and women by the color of their skin, eyes and hair? How is it Christ-like to push these people back, and abandon them, simply because they don’t look quite like you do? How is it Christ-like to want any harm to come to anyone, simply because they’re a little different from everyone else? God’s command to be peaceful among each other is very clear, many, many times.

Leviticus 19:34 - But the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the LORD your God.
John 7:24 - Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly.
John 13:34 - A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
Matthew 7:12 - So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
1 John 2:9 - He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now.
James 2:8-9 - (8) If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing right. (9) But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.
Matthew 28:19 - Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit...
Philemon 1:16 - ...no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord.

Something to observe here in the next few lines of scripture I give; if God is so loving and kind that he’ll accept every nation, tribe, people and language into Heaven and to be redeemed, why shouldn’t we be the same? Race means nothing to God. It’s all in how people view each other...it’s not God’s Will for us to run in cliques, just because of our color.

Revelation 5:9 - And they sung a new song, saying, Thou art worthy to take the book, and to open the seals thereof: for thou wast slain, and hast redeemed us to God by thy blood out of every kindred, and tongue, and people, and nation...
Revelation 7:9 - After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands.
Revelation 14:6 - Then I saw another angel flying in midair, and he had the eternal gospel to proclaim to those who live on the earth-to every nation, tribe, language and people.

People who bear different skin color to that of mine are simply “beautiful”. They couldn’t change their appearance that much even if they tried, and they shouldn’t have to try at all. Caucasian, Hispanic, Asian, African-American...it doesn’t really mean anything. People are what they are. It’s the condition of the spirit that counts. The color of a person’s skin shouldn’t keep them from being good friends, from loving one another, from getting married or anything like that.